I'm working hard on my resolve... and by that I mean, I'm tired of being a fatty. I don't like to shop because I don't fit in any clothing that doesn't make it look like I'm wearing a sheet. I can't wear hubby's t-shirts, because I still have a MASSIVE baby pouch from when I was prego. My son turns 1 in two weeks, and I promised myself I'd be back to pre prego weight, and down to my goal weight by then... I've failed, miserably.

These photos are a reminder of what I DON'T want to be... and so, I'm starting the Couch to 5k program... I am setting goals. Hike the Butte by the end of this summer, run/walk 5k by October, run 5k by next summer. I want to do one of the obstacle course 5ks next summer too. Run or Dye, Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Run for your Lives, etc.

It's in my...eyebrows!

My husband is a BIG redditor, he is on Reddit several times a day. I think it's his boredom therapy...

He noticed in Daddit, that some people were letting their kids self-feed at around the same age that our son is at now, and so we decided to give it a go... I wish I had stripped him of his clothes first... but lessons learned...

Connor, 10.5 months

 

His Mother's Son...

My son that is... he is his mothers son. While I've never heard my mom say it to me, I'm sure she's thought it..."just wait until he does that to you..." Well, here we are. I have been told I was stubborn, and a pretty awful sleeper. I sleep so lightly, that the cat eating from her dish in the bathroom, or the dog chewing her ball under the bed will wake me up.

For the last 3 weeks, my son has slept great! Going down at 7:45-8:15 ish, and not waking until around 4-5 getting some food, and going back down until 8. But not every night. Tuesdays, my husbands first night off, he refuses to sleep more than 45 minutes at a time, and so I'm up almost all night with him. And Wednesday nights, my husbands last night off, he does the same.

I understand that he doesn't see daddy much, because he works nights, and sleeps days, but this habit is getting out of control. I tell my husband how well our son sleeps ALL week long, and then on his 2 days off, he sleeps like a newborn again. At almost a year, this shouldn't be happening! Not so reliably!

In his (slight) defense, he is teething. Just cut his first tooth, and doesn't take his Tylenol or Advil easily, spits out the teething tabs before they dissolve, and will gag himself (intentionally) when I use the teething gel. He is too smart, and too stubborn for his own damn good!

But I love him. And I hate it when he is crying and in pain, but even Mommy cuddles don't fix it. It's heartbreaking.

I believe that Uncommon Nonsense stated it perfectly in her blog post about FOMO Baby (FOMO: Fear of Missing Out)
 

In an attempt to start of on a good foot, I am going to show you what I've done to productively burn of and vent my frustrations; (Aside from playing video games, which granted, do burn on frustrations, and shooting aliens and zombies is much cheaper than seeing a therapist, it's not terribly productive). I've been working on a garden.

I am by no means a green thumb, and I don't have much luck with herbs or veggies, and honestly, I can't remember what the flowers I picked are called, but they are pretty, and it makes me happy.

The red daisy looking flowers aren't doing so hot due to the sun exposure, so I am thinking next paycheck I'll get some mini sunflowers and replace them, I'll put the red ones into a stacking planter in the front of the house, where the sun exposure is less.

 

Reflections

There comes a time in ones life, sometime several times, where you realize you have spent so much time focusing on others, that you forget to care for yourself. In that respect, this blog and myself are the same. I have been so busy catering to my husbands work schedule, working on school work, raising my son, and creating little creatures to sell at our local market, that I haven't spent any time figuring out the things I need. As a person, as an artist, and as a mother, I've failed to supply myself with the things I need. I have to schedule showers 3-4 days in advance, and sometimes don't make that appointment.

I have decided that it's time I figure out something for me.

I vow to work on the things that I need sometimes. And let the word NO re-enter my vocabulary.

I vow to try to brush things off my shoulder when they hurt, and to always bounce back.

I vow to write more, and to draw more, and to create more that is NOT related to my work.

I vow to shower when the baby naps, instead of waiting for hubby to wake up from his graveyard shift.

I vow to post here more, and facebook less.

I vow to find constructive ways to vent my daily frustrations, instead of bottling it up until it causes a migraine (Like Sunday)

I vow to play more with the baby and the dog.

I vow to take time out of each day to clean, OR run dishes/laundry, and not try to take it all on every day.

I vow to accept that I am not SUPER WOMAN, and I can not do it all.

I vow to be a better friend to myself.

I vow to uphold these goals to the best of my ability, if it means making a reminder on my phone for each one!

 

Twinkle Twinkle...

It's been a while, and I always say that... but it's been a chaotic flu season. I was sick, then Hubby was sick, the little man was sick... then I was sick again. I have missed 3 weeks of school, and have been struggling to catch up on homework, and on my work load.

As for keeping my sanity in this chaos, I've started playing with drawings, and since I suck at drawing actual items, I've been doing artistic lettering for phrases. I'm hoping to do some mixed media with basic nursery rhymes and songs.

Here is a sketch I did as a rough draft for a project. I am going to paint a canvas in black or dark blue, splatter it with glitter paint for stars, and write the words in metallic marker. I will do some origami stars out of brightly colored papers, and pop dot them to the canvas. I'll paint the moon in gold and yellow, partially glittered.

What do you think?

 

peacock blues

peacock blues by echo-mayernik featuring anuschka handbags

Grey-Turquoise Romance

Grey-Turquoise Romance by echo-mayernik featuring zip bags

Tragedy - Sandy Hook Elementary

It shouldn't take a tragedy like this to open our eyes. It shouldn't take a tragedy like this to make us think about the safety of our children. 

Tonight, and every night, hug your children, tell them how much you love them.

Tonight, remember, and pray for those who have passed, and those effected by their passing. The families and friends of those who were killed will never be able to move on from this, they will always be missing someone.

These children were just beginning their lives, they had never done anything to deserve this untimely end. Pray for them. Whatever faith you believe in, pray.

Tonight, people will be missing their sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, best friends...Tonight, people will be shedding tears for those they knew and those they didn't. Tonight, I cry for lost lives, so young, so innocent. Tonight, I hug my son, and I beg that he stays safe!

   

3 months - Halloween

Mommy's little cranky dinosaur!